This Parenting Business

I had a neat experience today that I thought I should share. With the addition of sweet Jocelyn to our brood, my routines have been thrown off and I have been trying to adjust to my new "normal." This has included accepting the fact that I cannot do all of the things I used to be able to do, including the fact that I cannot always dedicate a half hour or hour of meaningful and uninterrupted scripture study. Along with accepting that, I've also had to learn to accept that it really is okay that I just do the best that I can, even if that "best" looks different day to day. That is all the Lord asks of me.

Anyway, so my studies have looked a lot like this since we brought Jocelyn home: listening (or half-listening) to a conference talk while I tend to my children and my home. This morning I listened to a conference talk from October 1991 by H. Verlan Anderson, titled "Bring Up Your Children in Light and Truth." This talk was an answer to prayer.

One of my biggest concerns and worries (if not my absolute biggest concern and worry) is being adequate enough to teach my children those things and skills that they will need most in this life. For me, those things include who and Whose they are, delayed gratification, self-control and discipline, love and kindness and, of course, the gospel. It is such a big concern of mine that I often fret about it.

Well, this talk taught/reminded me of two very important truths:

1. The age of accountability is the age of 8 for a good reason! Satan literally cannot tempt my children before this age and therefore has no influence over them. They are purely innocent. These early years are critical for gospel learning and character building because these precious children cannot be touched or swayed by the adversary, and the foundation created here will serve as a foundation for the rest of their lives.

2. My children are not mine and Stephen's alone: they are also Heavenly Father's children. He has entrusted these children to us for very specific reasons and purposes and He is even more invested in them then we are (and we are really invested!). We MUST include Him in our parenting and counsel with Him often. If we can do this, then we will not and cannot go wrong.

I am so grateful for these reminders! As I pondered them, I thought about the latest parenting issue that has been troubling me: getting Benjamin fully potty trained. A seemingly silly thing, but I was also reminded that what matters to me also matters to God, no matter how small or insignificant. Potty training Benjamin has been a on-going process for months and months with very slow progress. I hate it. If I could hire someone else to come do it I would. Quite seriously. Anyway, inspired after my study I decided to take the concern to the Lord, and once again the Spirit touched my heart. I told my Heavenly Father about how scared and insignificant I felt about teaching my children. I told Him about all the things I hoped to teach my children, things that mattered most. I realized that potty trained did not make the list. The Spirit softly spoke to my heart that all I needed to do was focus on the things I most wanted my children to learn- those things of eternal value. If I could do that and then trust in God's hands fully, everything else, including potty training, would take care of itself in it's own due time. Of course this doesn't mean that I should stop encouraging and reminding Benjamin to use the potty, but it did mean that I could stop fretting so much about things that didn't really matter. I felt immense relief!

How grateful I am to know how invested God is in my children and that my efforts can be blessed with grace! How grateful I am to know that Stephen and I are not in this parenting business alone!