Along with hiring our doula, Marcie, I wanted the right doctor for us and was willing to spend time hunting around and switching clinics where I received maternity care to find one, which is exactly what we did. We settled on a group midwifery practice in Pleasant Grove and loved our choice. I especially resonated with one particular midwife, Claudia, and went out of my way to schedule my appointments with her. She believed in the body's ability to birth, and most importantly believed in my ability to birth. She was extremely encouraging, unbiased, and was willing to listen to my ideas and concerns. I just knew I HAD to have her with me come delivery day and asked her about the probability of being on call around the time I was due. She pleasantly surprised me by giving me her cell phone number and the instructions to call her personally when I believed I was in labor and she'd see what she could do.
Well, I had been dilated to 3 cm for almost 2 weeks when I had my routine weekly check-up on July 9th and discovered that I was now dilated to 5 cm- all without any regular contractions. This was very surprising to us since with Benjamin I was at the hospital with an epidural in place at this point in my labor with him. Still, we tried to wait patiently at home for things to get going. On July 11th at about 2 pm, my water broke at home, but still no contractions. I notified Claudia and Marcie and continued to wait. Despite the inactivity, Stephen decided to come home early from work anyway as Claudia warned us that labor would probably progress rapidly for me once things did get going.
Once Stephen got home, we made sure our hospital bags were ready and then loaded up Benjamin and our stroller in the car to go for a walk around the track at the BYU campus. Once we got walking, contractions came almost immediately. I spent a good chunk of time on the phone with Marcie as she coached me through some contractions and told me what to be looking for with intensity and frequency before heading to the hospital. Although contractions were only 2 minutes apart, some even less than that, they were only lasting as long as 30 seconds or less. Since I was determined to labor outside of the hospital as long as possible and was afraid of going in too early, and my contractions weren't yet nearly as long as the "textbooks" say they should be, I refused to believe I needed to go into the hospital yet, even though Claudia advised going in. Yea, not smart, I know.
I gave my mom the go-ahead to head on down from Salt Lake so she could pick up Benjamin, confident that we still had plenty of time at home for her to make the 45 minute commute down to our place. I was wrong. Stephen and I got home from the track and got dinner on the table (I was going to eat before we go if it was the last thing I did!) when I had this urge to push. This frightened me enough to realize that maybe I should have listened to Claudia after all, go figure. I started yelling "We need to go! We need to go!" and frantically ran around. Since my mom was not yet here, Stephen ran Benjamin over to a neighbor's, told my mom where to find him, and we took off.
We opted to deliver at the American Fork hospital even though there are 2 other hospitals closer to us, so we had an at least 15 minute drive ahead of us. We chose American Fork because they had the most friendly reputation for VBAC's and mother and newborn comfort.
Once on the freeway, Stephen was going 95-100 miles an hour, weaving in and out of traffic, once completely running a red light. My contractions were now very painful and close together, so I was hollering pretty good as a result of the pain and fear with Stephen's crazy driving. Once we got to the hospital, we rushed into the main entrance and I scrambled into a wheelchair, still vocalizing my discomfort. The cute little receptionist at the information desk flew out of her seat to rush over to help us. The scene was seriously like one of those dramatic and falsified scenes of labor that you see in the movies, which was, later on, actually pretty funny since it was real.
We got up to the labor and delivery floor where the hospital staff guessed at who I was; Claudia had called and had given them a heads up that I was coming in. One said, "Are you that gal whose water broke at home?" Everyone seemed so laid back and relaxed and I couldn't help thinking, "This is serious business! I feel like I'm dying here. Quit the small talk and let's get going!" Thankfully those thoughts never made it passed my lips.
Once in my room, I was given one of those super flattering gowns to change into. Since everyone in American Fork was in labor that night (it's about 6:30 pm at this point), the hospital staff was super busy and no one came in to see me for a bit. Marcie arrived shortly after I got changed, and thank heaven she did. She says I was coping really well, but I certainly didn't feel like I was. Marcie worked her doula magic and jumped right in and started coaching and helping Stephen coach me through each contraction, as well as applying counter-pressure to my lower back and hips. She helped remind me to relax when I'd tense up at an oncoming contraction, was quiet through my contractions (Which I really appreciated! I wanted to yell at the nurses and doctors who kept asking me questions and such when it took all I had to make it through each contraction), and encouraged me in between contractions. Her support was amazing and convinced me to hire a doula with each subsequent pregnancy. What I appreciated most, however, was how she enabled Stephen to be my main source of comfort and support. He was truly incredible. If he were ever unsure, nervous, anxious, or tired I never knew it. He sole focus was guiding me and he'll never truly know how very much I needed that.
By some miracle, Claudia was able to come in to be my nurse midwife that night (I could have burst into singing, I was so happy and feeling so blessed to have the perfect support team) and came in to check on me. I was dilated to 6 cm, which was slightly discouraging since I was already in so much pain and discomfort and had hoped it meant I was closer to the end. Although planning on an epidural, I wanted to labor without one as long as I could and felt like I could go a little longer. Around 8:00 pm I was ready for that epidural; I had made it really close to transition (7 cm) without medication! To those amazing women who go all the way without medication, that maybe doesn't seem like a great feat, but for me it was very empowering. I certainly got farther than I ever thought I could! And that was exciting for me.
About 9:00 pm, Ian's heart tones are beginning to drop at alarming rates and the OB (Dr. Allen) who is backing up Claudia has entered the room to closely monitor things. I was just anxiously waiting for the talk of a cesarean to start. I would have been okay with another cesarean had my baby have really needed it, but I just wanted that fair chance of looking at other options, if safe, for a natural delivery. Thankfully, I never had to have that conversation with my doctors.
Ian's heart tones continue to do this little dance where they stabilize then drop. Claudia wants to put a fetal scalp electrode on Ian's head so she can more accurately keep track of his heart tones, and I agree to it. She also wants to try an amnioinfusion (or, increase the uterine fluid levels) to see if that will help stabilize Ian's heart tones. I have complete confidence in her and her judgement and agree to this as well. An oxygen mask is placed on my face also in efforts to help Ian, but I think it ends up helping me more instead. In any case, it helps keep me from hyperventilating, which was a problem with Benjamin's delivery, and I am extremely grateful for this fact alone. None of this appears to make much of a difference in Ian's heart tones, but Claudia is encouraged that they at least come back up, so I am allowed to continue to labor.
About 9:30 pm, just a few short hours after entering the hospital, I am fully effaced and dilated and ready to push! Claudia and Dr. Allen are both pleasantly surprised by my quick and efficient progress and I am highly encouraged by this. Both have examined me and say that they don't understand why doctors have been discouraged in the past about me delivering vaginally. They are both very confident I can birth this baby naturally and this excites and encourages me. I am relieved that finally someone believes that I an do it.
Each time I pushed, Claudia would exclaim with excitement how well Ian was moving down the birth canal and asked if I wanted to see it. Originally, I didn't want a mirror within 10 feet of me, but I was so excited and encouraged and actually did want to see. And I'm so glad I said yes because it was WAY cool! Being able to see my progress as I was pushing helped me to see that my efforts were paying off as well as allowed me to gauge how much more I had to go.
Ian's heart rate starts dropping even lower with each contraction and he starts to struggle recovering after. This becomes very alarming and my room suddenly fills with a ton of people. Claudia explains to me that the resuscitation team is there by precaution and tries to keep me calm, but it's not working. I am now absolutely scared out of my mind that something bad is going to happen to my baby. Dr. Allen assesses the situation and determines that Ian is too far down the birth canal for a cesarean now and briefly mention the possibility of using forcepts to help Ian out quicker. Getting Ian out the fastest becomes the goal, but forcepts is not mentioned again. Instead, everyone starts telling me that I have got to give pushing my everything now, that this baby needs to get out fast. It's about 11:00pm now and I am spent. I have been giving my all to pushing for an hour and a half and feel that I have no more to give. I have never felt more worn out in my entire life! Feeling like I could not go on and just wanting desperately for this to all be over, I looked to Stephen and just cried. I told him over and over, "I can't do it anymore. I'm so tired." He and Marcie did a fabulous job at continuing to try to encourage me, but I wasn't having any of it. Since my epidural was a "lighter dose" epidural (I wanted to still be able to feel the pressure so I could better direct my pushing) and it had worn off some by now, I was also in crazy pain. It was horrible and unbelievably hard.
Ian's head is finally crowning, but he's no longer going anywhere and his heart rate is continuing to drop. Claudia says she thinks an episiotomy is our best bet and I am relieved to hear this and gladly consent to one. I have the nurses take the mirror away (There was no way I was watching that) and they very next push, I suddenly feel complete relief from all pain and pressure, and hear a cry; he made it!
Everything seemed so completely surreal that I could hardly grasp what was going on. My little boy was placed on my chest, given a brief rub-down, and we were virtually left alone. I was crying pretty hysterically by now, but this time because I felt unbelievable happiness; not only was my VBAC a success, but more importantly my boy was perfectly healthy (they still don't know what caused the dips in his heart tones). I felt so much elation and an incredible sense of empowerment; my body COULD do this! The healing I had hoped to find here was immediately there. I got to spend a blissful few minutes with my son- no one whisking him away, no passing out, and no feelings of confusion and sadness. Just love and happiness and so much gratitude to my Father in Heaven for blessing me with such an experience. It was unbelievably difficult at times, but it was also so perfect.
