Priesthood

Last night was a rough night for the Palmer family. Benjamin has been struggling lately with sleep and eating and we cannot figure out what's going on. It's been a struggle at times to get him to eat and he hasn't been sleeping well at all, getting several hours less in a 24 hour period than he usually does (which for a little guy is a LOT). Consequently, I don't sleep or eat either.

Well, about an hour into his nighttime sleep last night, Benjamin suddenly woke with these blood-curdling screams of pain. Stephen and I were frantic. Nothing we did soothed him and I could feel my heart breaking as I realized I couldn't fix whatever it was -let alone figure out WHAT it was- that was ailing my little guy. Talk about feeling powerless. It didn't take long before tears of pain of my own were flowing and poor Stephen was left on his own to figure it out.

Not as filled with faith as I should have been, but still a tiny bit hopeful, I asked Stephen to give our son a blessing. I was so grateful in that moment that I was blessed to have a worthy Priesthood holder in my home. Over Benjamin's wails and my own desperate cries, I couldn't hear much of what was being said, but I knew that God was watching over us and that He could take care of it. And that is what He did.

Minutes later we had Benjamin in a warm bath, happy as a clam. After we got Benjamin back down in bed, I had some time to reflect on what had happened and had some profound realizations.

I had felt the Holy Ghost testify to me that the immense pain I felt in being helpless to take away my son's hurt was only a snippet of what the Father must feel for us when we hurt. Yes, He loves us THAT much! The love of a parent is deep and profound; the love of our Heavenly Parents is even deeper and even more profound. Can you even try to comprehend that?! I can't.

I also thought about how little children often have complete faith that their parents can "fix it." Children run to their mother when they have injured themselves, absolutely positive that mommy's hugs and kisses will make it all better. Children turn to their father's when a beloved toy is broken, sure that dad has the skills needed to repair it.This brought to new light for me the commandment we've been repeatedly given in the scriptures to "become even as a little child." This, for me, meant to turn immediately to my Heavenly Father when I am hurting, lost, sad, lonely, or fearful, and to trust -to honestly and completely trust -that my Heavenly Father can, according to His will, "fix it."

It was an ugly night for me, that's for sure, but there were also little hidden treasures of beauty that I am so grateful for.